My recent problem.....

I have this problem and I know others suffer this same ordeal, however I don't know what to do.  It seems that what's in y head doesn't come out the same or just doesn't come out.  I've learned this through Ann mainly from just talking and getting the usual confused look from her.  Lately , which is the bigger problem as of recently.  I am a songwriter, I have been writing for a couple years trying to better myself in music and lyrics.  I keep working towards the goal sound that I am trying to achieve, but the problem is that there's so much I want to say............I just don't know how to say it.  I freeze almost.  I may be trying to hard or something, I just don't know.  It's like falling in love though and yes I will try to explain to the best of my abilities.  You see someone you like and what happens?  Your heart goes crazy like it's about ready to burst from your chest correct?  Well have you ever tried talking to them for the first time?  You can rehearse all you want but it just doesn't come out when you actually attempt it.  Same with what happens to me while trying to write a song.  I have some ideas I really like and would love to try to create.  My problem comes one that I am a perfectionist and will never be happy with something I write.  Two, that the style I want I just don't really think in that way.  And three, I try to speak in my music in a very poetic metaphorical language and sometimes I just can't find the write way to say something.  Going back to the love thing, if you get rejected it devastates you.  Well right now that's the way I feel.  I know there's something I want to say but it stays inside.  I don't even know where to begin.

Also since I am venting a bit.  It KILLS me that I lose touch with friends.  I just don't understand or even can't comprehend how someone can just ignore attempts at trying to get back in touch.  At least respond and say something.  Are people just to wrapped up in their own lives to remember friends?  Or do they just not care?  I don;t think I'll ever get it, but man does it hurt to just be ignored.  Anyways done venting thanks!  If you have any help let me know!  Thanks

Brand New

So I have just been introduced to this site by Beth Brawley. I'm not usually a blogging person but hey I'm gonna give it a shot and see what happens. Plus the fact that I can always use help with church stuff doesnt hurt. So heres a little about me. I've been married for almost two years now which has been amazing. I know everyone says that they have the perfect wife, but really I do. She makes me a better person and challenges me everyday which is what I need. Other than that we just moved into a new house, well new to us but we love it. Were still at the stage that is just uncontrolled happiness. The last few saturdays have been cutting grass, pulling weeds, and mulching. Doesnt sound fun? Yea either to me but I have been enthralled by it! I love making my place look better. Besides that I work construction full time with one other person, who owns the company. Hes a good friend of mine and we work well together its actually a lot of fun. I also am a volunteer firefighter/emt. I have been in classes since February of this year. I am now certified in FF1, Haz Mat awareness, EVOK, and EMT-B. As for now I am happy, so no more classes for a while. I like it, I didnt know if I would but the bug bit me. You give me a burning building and in two minutes Im dressed and ready to go in! Moving on, Ive always grown up in church but I dont think that my relationship with God really escilated until college really. God has been so amazing to me throughout my life. I am completely and utterly immersed in worship. I love it, and its such a broad thing that I will never be able to fully grasp everything I know and Im ok with that. What really gets my blood going is when I can teach people what true worship is and how we can engage it in everyday life not just church on sunday. So if you want to talk about it let me know! Id love to. Songwriting is another one of my passions. I love creating! It just makes me happy. Well I think thats enough for now, that was my not so brief which I thought it was going to be brief but it just kept going introduction.